Domestic Violence: How You Can Keep Safe This Christmas
For most of us Christmas is a joyous time of catching up with family and friends and rounds of celebrations and gift giving. It’s a time of relaxing and enjoying the warmer weather with those we care about and love.
For some families unfortunately, Christmas will be a time of distress, tears and fear.
Tragically, the incidence of domestic violence increases significantly around Christmas time. In Australia statistically, domestic violence is 40% higher at Christmas and during the Summer months than other times of the year.
The combination of financial pressure of Christmas, free-flowing alcohol and even drugs and a break from daily routines of life may be some of the factors for the spike in violence during this time.
What should you do to keep safe and calm this Christmas if you’re feeling frightened or threatened by a current or former intimate partner?
Below are some helpful tips and tools to be aware of if you are feeling scared, intimidated or walking on ‘egg shells’ in your relationship:
- It’s not (never) your fault! Remember that you didn’t do or say anything to deserve any abuse;
- Love doesn’t hurt you;
- There is nothing to be ashamed – don’t suffer in silence – reach out at speak to trusted relatives, friends and professionals;
- Go to the Police – the Police are proactively working to support victims of domestic violence;
- Get medical assistance if you are feeling depressed or anxious or have been physically hurt – tell your doctor about the abuse;
- Have a ‘safety’ pack ready to leave – include:
- Drivers licence, credit cards, birth certificates, marriage certificates and passports
- A copy of house and car keys
- Car registration papers
- Medical records and Medicare details
- Financial documents such as tax records
- Spare clothing for you and your children
- Favourite or new toys/books for children
- Personal items (jewellery, photos).
- Familiarise yourself with the Domestic Violence services available e.g. refuge and housing; Centrelink assistance; Domestic Violence officers;
- If you plan to leave without your partner knowing – get help from a trusted friend or relative to help you with the move;
- Practice your safety plan and travelling to the safe spot;
- If you have pets – don’t leave them behind – get them accommodated with friends or call RSPCA.
Although it may be hard to believe, sometimes you may not be fully aware or even believe that you’re in an abusive relationship. Leaving a violent relationship is not easy!
Below are some signs that youmay be in an abusive relationship:
If you’re in an abusive and violent relationship, you may experience any of the following (not exhaustive) from your intimate partner:
- Stopped from spending time with your extended family or friends
- Put down and being called cruel names at home or out in public
- Being left with no money and being stressed about paying for food bills etc
- Frightening children
- Threatening to take the children from you
- Texting and calling you non-stop
- Stalking you
- Ridiculing you to family, friends, neighbours
- Controlling your money
- Checking credit card statements and questioning expenses
- Scratching, punching, hitting, strangling you or the children or threatening to physically harm you
- Cruelty to family pets
- Doing things to undermine your self-confidence
- Controlling what you wear
- Forcing you to have sex or engage in pornography or other sexual activities
Useful Contacts
Women’s Domestic Violence Advocacy – 1800 938 227
Law Access – 1300 888 529
Cominos Family Lawyers – 02 8999 1800
NSW Domestic Violence Crises Support – 1800 656 463
Lifeline and Kids Helpline – 131 114; 1800 551 800
Doctor- Your GP
Pet Safety – 02 9770 7555
If you want to know more about the benefits of a happy and healthy divorce, then email pamela@healthydivorce.com.au for more information.
Disclaimer: This article is not intended to replace any specific advice from a lawyer, counsellor or any other medical professional. The article is general information only.