Is the ‘semi-split’ replacing the divorce?

It seems that no matter the social, intellectual or technological advancement of our times, one area that continues to remain shrouded by fear, guilt and ‘failure’ is the divorce.

This is the narrative around ‘divorce’- where no matter how amicable or how conscious couples are when they choose to divorce – the stigma of shame and blame latches onto them with a relentless grip.

It’s no surprise then that couples may consider the ‘semi-split’ as an alternative to a ‘full-blown’ divorce. 

Some choose to ‘nest’ with their ex partners.  This is particularly the case where children are involved and both parents agree that the children are best looked after by remaining in the one home.  Nesting is also useful where money is tight and neither person has intentions to re-marry or live with another person.

Nesting is a kind of ‘semi-split’.  For a semi-split to be successful it takes a high level of co-operation, communication and trust. Something which sadly, many splitting parents seem to not have.

Because of the trauma that is often associated with divorce and the upset for children and the financial losses, some couple choose to live under the one -roof simply separated.  Again, if this decision is made with consideration and understanding of both the advantages and disadvantages of this semi-split arrangement, then go for it! 

It is my experience that the common reason for people not legally divorcing or separating is the fear, of being alone or fear of financial ruin.  Living from a place of fear is seriously no way to live! If you find yourself truly miserable and wanting to leave but feel you can’t then it’s time to get professional support and guidance to assist you.

It may be that one meeting with a specialist family lawyer or a session with a divorce coach is all you need to shift you from fear to finding the courage to split with love and consciousness.

For many of you reading this, it may sound impossible to split with love and dignity.  Thankfully there are many couples breaking the traditional stereotypes of horror divorce and have found the benefits of a ‘healthy divorce’.

We all know that life is precious and time is a limited resource – so why not divorce differently and why not consider a semi-split if this is what you and your ex want.  If not, then move on because when one door closes gently another opens with love and compassion.

Life is precious.  Time is a limited resource. Live Happy! 

If you want to know more about the benefits of a happy and healthy divorce, then email pamela@healthydivorce.com.au for more information.

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to replace any specific advice from a lawyer, counsellor or any other medical professional. The article is general information only.