My ‘Perfect’ Wedding Day!

Today I read a newspaper article entitled “My Perfect Wedding Day”.  In this article the bride to be went on and described every precise and laborious detail regarding the planning and the thinking and the consideration involved in creating her perfect wedding day.

She had even planned to spend ‘precious’ and ’emotional’ hours with friends and family before her moment of walking down the aisle – as if this was the last time she would ever see these people again or after the wedding she would be miraculously changed into something different, something unrecognisable, changing her relationship with her family and friends forever.

As I continued reading, it occurred to me that if we set up such an idealised and high expectation of the wedding day, what happens when that ‘perfect day’ starts to unravel and we find ourselves in unhappy ,unsustainable and exhausting marriages?

I can only imagine, that the fall from perfection is a rather steep and hard one.

How we feel about divorce has a lot to do with the picture we have created and accepted about the ‘perfect’ wedding and ‘perfect’ marriage and ‘perfect’ life.  It’s no wonder so many of us feel hopeless, helpless and failures when the perfection ( which let’s face is a an illusion and will never be attainable) of marriage ends in divorce.

As a sophisticated, intelligent and mature society, surely it’s time to stop the ‘perfectionist’ and the ‘idealistic’ views around weddings and marriage.

Of course, we all want and desire loving, healthy committed intimate relationships and marriages.  BUT if that doesn’t happen for us, then let’s stop the comparisons, the blame and the shame. Let’s stop the ‘woe is me‘ story.

After all, perfectionism is a ridiculous idea – created from fairy tales, fantasies and Hollywood fiction.

We all know that whatever we idolise, idealise or think is perfect – is nothing more than a fiction of our imagination- and has nothing to do with the reality of relationships and life.

It’s time to get real and responsible and to create empowering and compassionate realities.

If you want to know more about the benefits of a happy and healthy divorce, then email pamela@healthydivorce.com.au for more information.

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to replace any specific advice from a lawyer, counsellor or any other medical professional. The article is general information only.